If a man ever put me in danger, I would like to think that would be the end of the relationship. No debate. But everyone is human, so I get it.

While analyzing the recent series Cross, my co-host and I took a closer look at Elle, Alex’s ex-girlfriend and primary love interest. In season one, Alex is navigating the unexpected death of his wife while trying to hold it together—showing up for his job and raising two children. Elle becomes his soft place to land. She offers him care, patience, and understanding.

And how does he repay that?

By pulling her into a case—putting her in danger without her consent.

Yes, he apologizes later. But for me? Too little, too late.

Alex is interesting because, on paper, he checks all the boxes. He’s emotionally aware. He talks about his feelings (as much as men do), leans on his best friend, and even goes to therapy—reluctantly, but still. He presents as kind, thoughtful, and evolved.

But that blind spot? The willingness to put Elle at risk? That’s not a small oversight—that’s a red flag.

Season two makes things even more telling. Elle is clear: she didn’t appreciate what he did, and she’s moving on. But somehow… she’s still picking up his kids, still showing up at the house, still emotionally entangled.

And I can’t lie—if Elle were my friend, I’d be side-eyeing her a little.

It took me years to understand what my grandmother meant when she said, “Everything that shines ain’t gold.” But one or two experiences with an “Alex” will teach you real quick.

Because a man who looks good on paper—and even looks good in front of you—doesn’t automatically mean he’s good for you.

His actions will always tell the truth.

If he compromises your safety, ignores your autonomy, or puts you in situations you didn’t choose, that’s not love—that’s a liability.

And if I were Elle? Or advising her?

I’d tell that fine Alex Cross… no.

It wouldn’t be easy. Walking away rarely is—especially when something feels real, when it almost feels right. But that’s what growth looks like. That’s what it means to advocate for yourself.

Because when you don’t, you always pay for it—whether it’s lost time, hurt feelings, or something deeper.

And if love is the goal?

That’s not the outcome I’m willing to accept.